You felt like the date couldn’t have gone better. They told you they had the best time, and as soon as you got home, you started counting down the minutes until you could see them again . . .
Except you never got that second date.
Why would someone disappear after saying they had a really great time?
Today’s episode reveals the #1 reason why this happens, and what you can do about it. I’ll give you a hint: chemistry is the key factor that turns a first date into a second one—and in this new video, I show you 7 simple ways to create incredible chemistry on a date. These tips are the difference between someone thinking, “Well, that was nice,” and someone telling themselves, “I must see this person again!”
Whether you’re headed out on a first date tonight or just want reignite attraction with someone you’ve already been out with, this video is for you. (And if you’ve ever wondered what to text someone after a date to leave them wanting more, don’t miss tip #7.)
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Back in ye olden times, the fear that a partner might be cheating was enough to keep someone up at night. But in recent years, we’ve added a new layer of anxiety to the mix: “micro-cheating,” a.k.a. “back burner relationships.”
In fact, when Psychology Today recently polled people who are in a relationship, 56% revealed they had a back burner person: someone they’re in contact with who could be an option if their current relationship doesn’t go the distance.
That’s not to say that everyone realizes what they’re doing. Many feel it’s harmless—that they’re just being friendly and keeping in touch with a friend.
Today’s clip will give you a simple test to figure out if you’re in a back burner relationship, and provide you with the mindset you need to give your current one its best shot.
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Why are toxic relationships so hard to leave? One reason is because you hold onto the small good moments and fail to acknowledge the extent of the bad.
And when we feel sympathy for someone, this also makes us doubt ourselves. We think "Maybe I'm wrong?", "Maybe I'm being too harsh on this person?", "Maybe it's actually ok?"
In this episode, Matt, Stephen, Audrey and Jameson talk about how to get the courage to let go of a narcissistic or toxic relationship and feel certain in your decision when you keep doubting yourself.
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Have you ever created an entire relationship in your head before going on a date with someone? Perhaps you’ve been texting with them for weeks and have already deduced they could be “The One,” or maybe you live for the two minutes of conversation you have with them before spin class.
And in order to fan the flames of your excitement, you turn into a social media detective, where their posts and information become “compatibility clues” that either build up or tear down the relationship you’ve created in your mind . . .
Unfortunately, living in our heads in this way can turn into obsessing, and render us incapable of feeling excited about anything other than seeing or hearing from that person. In other words, they occupy a space in our minds they’ve not yet earned!
In this week’s new video, I share with you the mindsets that can both help and hurt you in dating, as well as the best way to determine if you and this person could really work out.
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People always ask how to spot red flags in relationships. But often the red flags are right in front of our eyes - we just choose to ignore them.
In this clip, Matt and Stephen explain why this happens and how you SHOULD respond when the warning signs appear. . .
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In a previous episode, we talked about the struggles dating can pose when women are thinking about their desire for children and their biological clock, and all the associated anxieties that can come with it.
And we had some incredible and thoughtful responses to what is rightfully a very difficult and emotional topic to discuss (but also an essential one).
In this episode, we take the conversation further and look at the disparity between men and women in future planning, why freezing your eggs and planning fertility can be its own enormous challenge, and how to think about making decisions about the future you want when you haven't met the right person yet.
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It’s Halloween time, and for the occasion, in today’s video I talk about what might be the most insidious form of ghosting.
If someone ghosts you after a couple of tepid dates (which doesn’t feel good, don’t get me wrong) you can usually assume they just weren’t feeling the chemistry . . .
But what does it mean when someone pulls away after saying they want to be exclusive, or after texting constantly and telling you they want to see you all the time?
In this brand-new episode, I give you three reasons why someone might do this, what you should do when it happens, and the strange reason why they may choose to ghost but leave the door open. You can’t miss this topic!
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Ever notice how you completely fall apart when you try to speak to that guy you’re really attracted to?
It’s like with your best friends you can be effortlessly funny, talkative, and smart, then suddenly you’re talking to this guy and your brain turns to mush.
Then begins the negative self-talk:
“I’m not pretty enough,” “I have nothing interesting to say,” “He’s not going to like me.”
It’s like you instantly lose all of your game.
You go into “impress” mode. You over-analyze everything you say. You get in your head. Instead of just having fun in the moment, you start playing it cautious, like you’re in a game of chess and the stakes are life and death.
If you want to finally stop putting guys on a pedestal and instill new empowering beliefs that will make you bring your best to the table (no matter who you’re talking to) listen to this clip before you do anything else...
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What do you do when you're not attracted to men who want you, and the men you ARE attracted to are unwilling to commit?
In life, as we get older, we can find the dating world changing around us. We want different things, we're not as young and carefree as we were in our twenties, and we feel like we want something serious in this phase of our life.
In this episode, Matthew, Stephen, Audrey and Jameson go deep on the dilemma of attracting the wrong people when you want to get serious, how to get excited to date again after facing painful life events, and what to do if you're facing the possibility of never finding the love you're looking for.
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Do you feel like your brain is wired wrong because despite your better judgment, you’re only attracted to the bad boys or the players?
You know . . . you love the idea of a great, stable guy who treats you right, but somehow you’ve become so accustomed to the highs and lows of roller-coaster relationships that you can’t imagine feeling chemistry with such a man.
At this point, you may be asking yourself if it’s possible to feel a spark with someone who isn’t always playing games with you . . .
In this episode, I’ll give you 3 ways to create real attraction with the right kind of guy . . . because glorifying unavailable people is a recipe for heartbreak, so instead, we can start learning to enjoy healthy attention and find a loving partner.
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The technique I give in this clip shows us how to feel connected to the things we have to do in our day so that we don’t become list-checking zombies with no real joy in our lives. You can use it to be ultra-productive AND happy at the same time.
This technique has become an indispensable part of my daily practice. Perhaps it will for you too.
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Join our next Virtual Retreat (November 11th - 13th)! - Claim Your Spot Today at MHVirtualRetreat.com
Join our next Virtual Retreat (November 11th - 13th)! - Claim Your Spot Today at MHVirtualRetreat.com
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Email us! You can in touch with the show and give your feedback/thoughts at podcast@matthewhussey.com
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What can you do when you’re sick of the excuses and deep down want to see them more? Well, you can listen to this brand new Matt Monday, in which I’ll share with you how to avoid the most common mistake in this scenario and finally see some progress.
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I’ll keep this short. If you’re experiencing any kind of pain right now from a “situation” or a relationship ending, this clip is a must-watch for you today.
It could be the pain of having been ghosted . . .
It could be the pain of someone you were seeing regularly going cold on you . . .
Or it could be the terrible heartbreak of a long-term relationship falling apart when you didn’t want it to end.
In this clip, my brother Stephen and I are not merely talking about how to get over your pain, but how to deal with it while you’re still in the middle of it—perhaps even in the worst phase, when it feels like it’ll never go away.
I’m here for you.
P.S. This video may be the greatest gift you can give a friend or family member who is experiencing this kind of pain right now. Who could you send this to to help them get through the day?
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Do you want marriage and kids? Feel like you have a sense of urgency because of your biological clock?
It’s common for our desires for the future to bring up all kinds of anxieties in dating. Especially when we are torn between “playing it cool”, or being honest and up front about what we want (which could scare someone away!)
In this episode, Matt, Stephen, Audrey, and Jameson dive into the thorny topic of how to handle dating and honest communication when you feel hyper aware of your biological clock and want to make plans for the future.
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Wondering why the guy you’re seeing doesn’t seem to respect you? You might be surprised by the reason . . .
If your tendency is toward anxiety, you’ll go to great lengths just to restore the peace and get things “back to normal” as quickly as possible.
This often includes the compulsion to say “sorry” even when something’s not your fault.
The danger with this is that when we make it clear to someone that we’ll do anything to avoid difficult conversations, it becomes easy for them to take us for granted . . .
If any of this sounds familiar, you will not want to miss the 3 tips I share in today’s episode. Not only will you learn how to honor your own needs and boundaries, but you’ll also raise your value in the process. What’s more, you’ll do so by actually living your life rather than simply existing in a state of perpetual people pleasing and anxiety.
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If you struggle too much inside your head when you like someone, especially if it doesn't feel like it's quite going your way, this clip is going to help make sense of things.
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There are 2 kinds of men that can be dangerous to fall for: (1) the guy who is a “project”, (2) the bad boy.
It’s common that we date similar types throughout our romantic life. In this episode, Matt, Stephen, Audrey and Jameson talk about why we look for these characters over and over again and how we can break free from chasing people who are wrong for us.
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Does absence really make the heart grow fonder . . . especially when the person you’re into seems to forget you exist when you’re not in the same room?
When you’re together, life couldn’t be better. You have off-the-charts chemistry, they’re totally focused on you, and your connection feels genuine.
The catch?
When you’re apart, you feel invisible as communication slows to a crawl and often drops off completely.
As a result of these mixed signals, you’re essentially living in two completely different realities, and you’d do anything to get some clarity. You might even ask yourself: “Should I try to invest in this relationship even more to show how serious I am? Or would it be better to mirror their behavior and go cold?”
In today’s episode, I walk you through what you must absolutely NOT DO in this hot and cold scenario . . . plus I give you two very specific text messages that can (finally!) get you out of this frustrating situation.
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Yeah, I said it.
Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn't share your feelings You live in hope that one day they'll light up your phone with a text that says how much they can't live without you. Or, you fantasize that they'll leave their partner and run back into your arms. They'll say what a fool they've been and how much they need you by their side.
It's romantic, right?
Nope.
And this kind of "perpetual hope" can be so dangerous for your relationships that I feel I have to say something to anyone out there still waiting for a crush to change their mind.
Before you give your heart to someone who doesn't deserve it today, listen to this episode. It could save years of your life.
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“Would you call yourself a people pleaser? Tell us how it shows up in your life…”
And you answered!
Matt, Stephen, Audrey and Jameson sit down to look at your top responses to how you fall into the trap of people pleasing and the problems this causes in our lives.
Do you say “yes” to things you don’t really want to do? Feel like you’re always giving emotional energy with nothing in return? Do you feel you have to avoid being your honest self in order to keep the peace and make everyone around you happy?
If you’ve been here, you’re not alone. Listen to how you can find a balance between showing up for people you love without giving up your own happiness and sense of self.
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Have you dated someone you find so amazing and impressive that you almost start to feel not good enough for them?
Maybe it’s their attractiveness or intelligence . . . or perhaps it’s their success, wealth, or status (such as the example in today’s video) that has you feeling lucky whenever they turn their attention to you.
Whatever it might be, the reaction we often have to this feeling is highly toxic for our happiness . . . because we start to shrink our needs.
We become pleasers and find it almost impossible to set any kind of boundaries for fear that this will drive them away and they’ll disappear. After all, if they left, “Would I ever find anyone as amazing as them ever again?”
Sound familiar? Then you’re going to like today’s brand-new episode.
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Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship?
Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more?
It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regret, anxiety, self-loathing… not to mention a lack of appetite and insomnia. We turn over every memory, imagining where we could have been with that person had we just behaved differently.
And this feeling isn’t limited to situations that have ended. Sometimes we are still seeing someone but we have this crippling anxiety over having irreversibly damaged the relationship. We feel we’ve created a perception of ourselves in that person’s eyes that we can’t now undo.
If for any of these reasons you are currently torturing yourself, this video will be life-saving for you today. Trust me when I say it is essential watching.
In this classic clip, I break down for you why you don’t need to be wallowing in pain, and why, despite everything that destructive voice inside is saying, you actually have reason to feel good today.
Please also share this with someone you know who may be beating herself up right now. Life’s too short for any of us to suffer needlessly.
I’m with you, friend. You’re loved.
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How do you know if a guy has stopped trying, or if your anxious attachment-type fears are making you panic for no reason? In today's episode, Matt, Stephen, Jameson and Audrey talk about what to do when someone you're dating changes their level of affection and gives mixed signals, but says they want to be with you.
If you tend to overthink and find yourself worrying your partner might have changed their view on the relationship, make sure to listen to this one!
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My 30-Day Confidence Challenge is back by popular demand! There's still time to claim your place on this FREE training taking place September 27th. Simply visit MHChallenge.com to sign up.
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If you struggle to feel confident because you don’t like the way you look, make listening to this episode the top priority of your day today (and be sure to stay until the end for a special bonus!) I promise you won’t regret it.
Your coach,
Matthew x
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My 30-Day Confidence Challenge is back by popular demand! There's still time to claim your place on this FREE training taking place September 27th. Simply visit MHChallenge.com to sign up.
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